South Park: Cartman’s 20 Funniest Quotes

The greatest Eric Cartman quotes present why he is regarded by most viewers because the funniest character in South Park. Cartman represents the satirical embodiment of every little thing unsuitable with the human race, but audiences can not help however discover themselves fascinated by him. Although South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker base the characters Stan and Kyle on their very own personas, they’ve admitted that Eric Cartman partially embodies the darkest facet of them that they’d by no means dare expose to society.

Cartman is really some of the attention-grabbing characters on TV, and he’s so well-written that he deserves some dedication. From making one among his college bullies actually eat his personal dad and mom to campaigning to have his good friend’s feeding tube eliminated in an effort to get a PSP, the darkest Cartman storylines on South Park show that the deranged fourth grader will cease at completely nothing to get no matter he needs — which is exactly why Cartman is so interesting. He actually has no boundaries and no ethical compass to talk of, and that is why the perfect Cartman quotes embrace a few of the most memorable traces within the entirety of South Park.

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20 “I Would Never Let A Woman Kick My A**”

Season 1, Episode 5, “An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig”

Casual sexism is much from the worst of his crimes, although this early instance of it from South Park season 1 nonetheless stands as among the best Cartman quotes. Most of South Park season 1’s “An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig” was a parody of The Island of Dr. Moreau, with the weird Dr. Mephesto as a stand-in for Marlon Brando’s Dr. Moreau. However, this specific quote from Cartman would not tie into the episodes plot.

Early episodes of South Park virtually at all times began with the boys standing on the bus cease and speaking about one thing. In this case, it was Stan exhibiting up with a black eye. When Stan reveals that his sister Shelley is accountable for the bruising, Cartman mocks him. Not solely does Cartman say he would not let a lady beat him up, he goes on a rant saying he would say:

”
Eh, you get your bi**h ass again within the kitchen and make me some pie
.”

What actually made this Cartman quote so memorable is that Cartman simply stored reeling off increasingly increasingly-awful issues he would say to the girl, every demand extra ridiculous than the one earlier than. By the tip, Stan asks what Cartman is even speaking about, and he explains that he’s simply saying, “You’re just a little wuss, that’s all.”

19 “Anything That’s Fun Costs At Least Eight Dollars”

Season 9, Episode 12, “Trapped in the Closet”

“Trapped in the Closet” is among the most controversial South Park episodes as a result of it made enjoyable of Scientology and is among the causes Isaac Hayes stop the present after the season ended. However, it additionally incorporates among the best Eric Cartman quotes, and on this (uncommon) occasion, the road is not so memorable as a result of it is notably offensive. In this occasion, it is one among Cartman’s a number of bizarrely particular philosophies about the way in which of the world, particularly that there is a minimal price-tag in the case of enjoyable.

In “Trapped in the Closet”, Stan wished to do one thing enjoyable — however free. Cartman instructed Stan that was ridiculous due to the legislation of physics. According to Cartman, it is scientific proven fact that something enjoyable has to price at the very least $8. The proven fact that $8 is an extremely certain amount makes this Cartman quote humorous sufficient by itself, however his insisting that his declare was scientifically backed by the legal guidelines of physics made it all of the extra hilarious. Also, it turns into clear that Stan ought to have listened. Instead, he took a free “personality test” from Scientologists, they usually supplied him a spot for simply $240.

18 “Hippies. They’re Everywhere. They Wanna Save The Earth, But All They Do Is Smoke Pot And Smell Bad.”

Season 4, Episode 6, “Cherokee Hair Tampons”

Eric Cartman is among the most illiberal characters ever seen on display. There’s virtually no minority he would not take chagrin with. However, most of the funniest Cartman quotes in South Park stem from his hatred of 1 particular subculture — hippies. In the season 4 episode “Cherokee Hair Tampons,” Kyle is sick and might need kidney failure. Because his household cannot afford the medical payments, they determine to strive holistic medication at a Native American New Age store on the town.

This disgusts Cartman, who reveals his disdain and continued prejudice by mocking the individuals who go to the shop, calling them “hippies” after which delivering this quote that reveals what his narrow-minded views consider them and their previous occasions. It is not the primary time that Cartman has insulted the hippy tradition, however as at all times, Cartman’s personal ignorance bites him in the long run when Stan tips him into donating a kidney to avoid wasting Kyle.

17 “Words Cannot Express How Much I Hate You Guys”

Season 3, Episode 14, “The Red Badge of Gayness”

It’s tough to depict his most evil or lowest second in South Park, however there’s a sturdy case for season 3’s “The Red Badge of Gayness” exhibiting Cartman at his absolute worst. However, as is to be anticipated, this additionally implies that the episode contains one of many funniest Cartman quotes —although it is also one that does not fairly work out of context. When the scholars of South Park Elementary have their annual American Civil War reenactment in “The Red Badge of Gayness”, many of the youngsters act as a Union Army rally band.

However, when it comes time to start out, Cartman comes dressed as General Robert E. Lee, and he takes on the complete persona of a Confederate soldier. He then will get the Confederate re-enactors drunk on Schnapps and has them really assault Topeka. His purpose is to win the conflict for the South all these years later, and Cartman sends a letter to Stan and Kyle saying he’ll win this conflict and can enslave them as a result of “I hate you guys, so very much.”

16 “How Do I Reach These Kids?”

Season 12, Episode 5, “Eek, A P*nis!”

The greatest Cartman quotes do not at all times come when he is being offensive or illiberal. While Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are not any strangers to being caught up in ever-escalating occasions as a consequence of their plans and schemes, Cartman appears to actively throw himself into them, and sometimes comes up with alternate personas to take action. Such is the case in season 12’s “Eek, A Penis”, which features a hilariously humorous Cartman catchphrase when he turns into inner-city college instructor Mr. Cartmenez. In some of the ludicrous storylines in South Park historical past, when the college removes Mr. Garrison from his job educating, they ask Cartman to interchange him.

Cartman has his classmates steal all of the take a look at notes and ace their subsequent take a look at, with the college officers deciding that Cartman is simply that nice of a instructor. He is then despatched to an inner-city college, and using a comb-over much like Edward James Olmos in Stand and Deliver, he adopts his Mr. Cartmenez persona to show the finer factors of dishonest. What makes this Cartman quote notably humorous is that it mirrors the dialogue of Olmos’ Stand and Deliver character, which Mr Cartmenez repeats all through the episode in an exasperated tone.

15 “I Kinda Always Thought You Were My Best Friend”

Season 5, Episode 13, “Kenny Dies”

Cartman is buddies with Kyle, Stan, and Kenny, however he additionally despises them in equal measure. However, the one good friend that Cartman appears to respect the least is Kenny. This is usually as a result of Kenny is from a household with none cash, and Cartman likes to at all times make enjoyable of him for his struggles. Despite that, in season 5’s “Kenny Dies”, Cartman instantly says that Kenny has at all times been his greatest good friend. This is, in fact, a lie, as Kenny is dying and Cartman needs to make use of his good friend’s sickness to get stem cell analysis legalized once more after the federal government bans it.

Cartman pretends to be Kenny’s closest good friend and eventually convinces the House of Representatives to move a invoice permitting stem cell analysis to avoid wasting his good friend’s life. However, the large twist right here is that Cartman would not use stem cell analysis to avoid wasting Kenny — who, as he often does in South Park, dies — however someway makes use of it to duplicate his favourite pizza place. This quote completely represents how Cartman actually solely cares about himself.

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14 “Maybe, We All Have To Learn To Live Together”

Season 9, Episode 11, “Ginger Kids”

Season 9’s “Ginger Kids” incorporates among the best Cartman quotes that stands out as a result of it is an extremely reluctant inversion of his regular intolerance. Cartman is stuffed with prejudice and there won’t be a minority in existence that he would not proclaim to hate. However, evidently he hates folks with purple hair virtually greater than anybody else, saying they endure from “Gingervitis.” To show a degree, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny sneak into Cartman’s bed room when he’s sleeping and dye his hair purple, bleach his pores and skin a pale shade, and add tattoos of freckles on his face.

This quote comes after Cartman realizes he’s now a goal of all of the hate speech from the children who beforehand adopted him. One factor that stands out about Cartman is that he’s simply one to dish out insults, however once they come at him, he develops a posh and turns into overly defensive. After spending the complete episode insulting others, he decides he’s one among them and says in the event that they “exterminate everyone who isn’t ginger then we’re no better than they were for thinking less of us.”

13 “Screw You Guys, I’m Going Home!”

Season 1, Episode 1, “Cartman Gets An Anal Probe”

Cartman has a tagline from the very first episode of South Park, and his catchphrase of “Screw you guys, I’m going home” nonetheless stands sturdy as one among his funniest quotes. In the South Park pilot episode, “Cartman Gets An Anal Probe,” aliens abduct Cartman and — because the title suggests — carry out an anal probe on him. However, nobody believes him and he lastly will get bored with telling his story to skeptics.

Cartman decides he has higher issues to do than grasp round together with his buddies, so he merely drops in one among his most well-known traces, “Screw you guys, I’m going home.“ He begins saying it increasingly, typically altering how he says it and making it one among his funniest traces. This grew to become a catchphrase followers of the present would quote on a regular basis in its early seasons of South Park.

12 “No, Kitty, This Is My Pot Pie…”

Season 1, Episode 1, “Cartman Gets An Anal Probe”

Another hilarious Cartman quote got here within the first ever episode of South Park, and it is one which was typically repeated in the course of the present’s earlier seasons. One of the running jokes in South Park about Cartman is his love of consuming, which regularly causes his buddies to make enjoyable of him. He can also be very demanding of his mom and needs to make sure he has meals each time he needs it. This begins in season 1’s “Cartman Gets An Anal Probe” when Cartman is at dwelling and will get himself some scrumptious pot pie. As he sits on the sofa, his household cat (who is just named “kitty”) walks into the room and appears at him, letting out a low meow.

This units off Cartman, who assumes the cat needs his pot pie. Every time the cat meows, Cartman will get angrier till he calls the kitty dangerous as a result of it’s his pot pie. It goes a protracted solution to present his anger points. This can also be one among a number of Cartman quotes that is primarily hilarious due to the supply, with Cartman’s now-iconic voice going a lone solution to making the easy phrase unforgettably humorous.

11 “How About We Sing Kyle’s Mom’s A Stupid B**ch In D Minor”

Season 1, Episode 9, “Mister Hanky The Christmas Poo”

South Park incorporates a number of extremely memorable musical numbers, although few are as notorious as “Kyle’s Mom’s A Stupid B**ch”. Cartman has mentioned a variety of dangerous issues to folks, however within the South Park season 1 episode “Mister Hanky The Christmas Poo”, he references a musical quantity (one which was then repeated within the South Park film). This Cartman quote and the music that adopted on from it got here because of Kyle’s mom protesting the Christmas play, forcing the college to take away all mentions of Jesus and Santa from their celebrations.

Cartman, livid about the complete state of affairs, lets Kyle know what he thinks about his mother. When Kyle will get indignant, Cartman turns it into an enormous music and dance quantity. By the tip, he has all the opposite youngsters dancing and clapping with him and Mr. Garrison is even smiling. The music finally ends up repeated within the playground, with Kyle’s mother exhibiting as much as catch Cartman within the act, however that does not deter him both. When Cartman will get one thing in his head, he would not let it go.

10 “Selling Out Is Sweet Because, When You Sell Out, You Get To Make A Lot Of Money.”

Season 2, Episode 9, “Chef’s Chocolate Salty Balls”

Eric Cartman has an extremely twisted logic and outlook on life, and a few of his most hilarious South Park moments stem from his warped view of actuality and morals. One of the funniest Eric Cartman quotes comes from season 2’s “Chef’s Chocolate Salty Balls,” an episode that sees the Sundance Film Festival transfer to South Park. In the episode, Kyle is frightened about Mr. Hanky’s dwelling changing into polluted and reveals Mr. Hanky to the folks accountable for the film competition.

However, they mistakenly imagine this can be a film thought, prompting Cartman to promote Mr. Hanky shirts. At the tip of most South Park episodes, Stan or Kyle will reveal a lesson they’ve discovered. Of course, each time Cartman unleashes his “morality,” it’s at all times comical and principally offensive. At the tip of the episode, Cartman spouts this hilarious quote the place he explains the advantages of promoting out.

9 “I’m Not Fat, I’m Festively Plump!”

Season 16, Episode 9, “Raising the Bar”

Perhaps if he wasn’t so merciless to Kyle, Stan, and Kenny, his buddies would not throw so many digs at his weight. But he’s Eric Cartman, so he form of deserves every little thing that is coming to him. Throughout the sequence, Cartman has tried to defend his weight as simply being “big-boned” and has even been quoted saying “I’m not fat, I’ve just got a sweet hockey body.” Either manner, a few of the greatest Eric Cartman quotes come when he tries to defend himself.

In season 16’s “Raising the Bar,” (one of many few Emmy-nominated episodes of South Park) Cartman admits to Kyle that he is not big-boned or festively plump. He is simply actually fats. Audiences assume for a quick second that Cartman would possibly really try to alter his methods and begin making extra of an effort to drop pounds. Instead, viewers discover out he’s thrilled to be “festively plump” as a result of it means he will get to trip round in all places in a mobility scooter and acquire particular privileges due to it.

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8 “I Don’t Make The Rules, Ma’am. I Just Think Them Up And Write Them Down.”

Season 15, Episode 5, “Crack Baby Athletic Association”

Season 15’s “Crack Baby Athletic Association” was one other South Park installment that contained an extremely memorable Cartman storyline that additionally noticed him adopting a persona. Creating the Crack Baby Athletic Association might be one of many worst issues Cartman has ever finished in South Park, and this in fact means it led to one of many funniest Cartman quotes.

The episode sees Kyle volunteering after he’s moved by a Sarah McLachlan industrial depicting infants which are born hooked on crack cocaine, however is stunned to see that Cartman can also be volunteering there as nicely. It seems he, Butters, Craig, and Clyde have began a enterprise through which they make the infants struggle one another. In the episode, Cartman is interviewing one of many potential moms of a “future crack baby”, and when she protests one among his guidelines, he spouts off this priceless quote.

7 “In The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, A Bunch Of Hippies Walk Around And Paint Stuff.”

Season 2, Episode 4, “Chickenlover”

It’s no secret that Cartman cares extremely little about his training, and there are many hilarious Cartman quotes that come up from his disdain for placing in even a shred of educational effort. Such is the case together with his unforgettable abstract of C.S. Lewis’s beloved youngsters’s novel The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, which, in line with Cartman, is only a story the place “a bunch of hippies walk around and paint stuff.”

While the South Park season 2 episode “Chickenlover” is not wholly about Cartman’s botched e book report, it contains an extremely hilarious scene that reveals simply how far Cartman will go to cheat and manipulate the system — particularly if it means not doing homework. This contains making up his personal model of the e book he was presupposed to learn for his e book report whereas hoping Mr. Garrison will purchase into it. Of course, Mr. Garrison is nicely conscious if one among his college students is spouting lies in an try to weasel their manner via an project — particularly when it is Cartman.

6 “I Know Enough To Exploit It.”

Season 7, Episode 9, “Christian Rock Hard”

Cartman is simply ever fascinated with one thing if it may well present him with a way of energy or monetary acquire. He has no disgrace on this both, as evidenced by this unforgettable Cartman quote from South Park season 7’s “Christian Rock Hard”. Cartman would by no means genuinely discover curiosity in any given faith or group except it meant he’d find yourself swimming in money. That’s why within the episode “Christian Rock Hard,” Cartman kinds a Christian rock band in an effort to earn some morally grey riches.

It is among the funniest episodes of the complete sequence due to Cartman’s full lack of morality and the sheer quantity of hilarious quotes, comparable to when Stan tells him he is aware of nothing about Christianity, and Eric says again, “I know enough to exploit it.” This finally will get him in a variety of bother (because it ought to). If there’s one factor South Park has proved, it is that it is at all times hilarious to see what lengths Cartman will go to in an effort to acquire supremacy, simply to see all of it come crashing down on the finish of every episode.

5 “I Made You Eat Your Parents.”

Season 5, Episode 4, “Scott Tenorman Must Die”

By far some of the disturbing South Park installments, the season 5 episode “Scott Tenorman Must Die” marked an enormous tonal shift in not solely the sequence however for Eric Cartman generally. In the primary couple of seasons, Cartman was the chubby and foul-mouth child who nobody within the city took significantly (they usually nonetheless do not), however this episode marked simply how sadistic he actually is.

In this episode, Cartman is bored with being bullied by an eighth-grader named Scott Tenorman, so in one of many greatest tv twists, audiences discover out Cartman has made Scott eat his dad and mom by putting their physique elements in a bowl of chili throughout a chili cook-off. It’s the last word instance of how far Cartman will go to cope with those that unsuitable him, and an actual image of his general character.

4 “I’m Your Job!”

Season 25, Episode 3, “City People”

One of the newest memorable Cartman quotes comes from the season 25 episode “City People,” and it is the right personification of Cartman’s character. In the episode, Mrs. Cartman decides that she must get a brand new job as a result of the current actual property increase in South Park has precipitated their hire to go up. Utterly distraught that his mom’s consideration might be taken away from him, Cartman desperately tells her, “I’m your job!”

Mrs. Cartman will get a job anyway, as an actual property agent, so Eric retaliates by getting the identical job and outselling her brokerage to the inflow of metropolis folks which are transferring to the world. It’s a low blow, even for Cartman. However, he does get his simply desserts in the long run, as because of him, the complete market collapses, and the Cartmans are compelled to purchase a defunct sizzling canine restaurant to stay in.

3 “Was It Worth It? Totally…”

Season 7, Episode 11, “Casa Bonita”

If there was ever a second and accompanying quote that reveals simply how limitless Cartman’s selfishness and disrespect for others really is, it is when he is keen to unfold panic all through his complete city simply so he can get an invite to a birthday celebration at his favourite restaraunt. When Kyle would not invite Cartman to his birthday within the classic South Park episode “Casa Bonita” (which is stuffed with traditional moments) and decides to take Butters as a substitute.

Cartman manipulates Butters into considering the world is about to finish, so he makes Butters conceal in a bomb shelter in order that he misses Kyle’s get together and Cartman can get invited Kyle’s get together at Casa Bonita in his absence. Of course, some of the predictable Eric Cartman quotes proves that does not remorse a factor he has finished as a result of he will get to benefit from the restaurant, which he considers to be “Mexican Disneyland.”

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2 “Respect My Authoritah!”

Season 2, Episode 4, “Chickenlover”

This is among the most well-known Cartman quotes, and for a great purpose. It’s repeated a number of occasions all through South Park, and is among the earliest examples of how Cartman adopting a persona makes him someway even funnier. The first time it comes about is within the season 2 episode “Chickenlover” the place Cartman acts as a police officer and calls for that folks respect his authority.

He beats folks together with his baton and takes benefit of his place in energy by torturing all these round him. The funniest half is his accent, the place he cannot correctly pronounce fundamental phrases comparable to “authority.” His unusual pronunciation of phrases is lastly addressed within the Season 15 episode “The Poor Kid” the place Kyle classically tells Cartman, “My name is not Kyeel.”

1 “Kyle, You Really Think I Would Spend 40 Years Of My Life Just To Get A Rise Out Of You?”

Season 24, Episode 3, “Post COVID”

The South Park “Post COVID” particular is ready 40-odd years sooner or later when the pandemic is lastly waning, and it incorporates simply one of many funniest Cartman quotes in the complete present. The episode sees the 4 boys, now adults, reuniting at Kenny’s funeral after his mysterious demise as a scientist finding out the Coronavirus. However, what Kyle is particularly shocked to see is that an adult Eric Cartman has converted to Judaism and is now a rabbi with a Jewish household. Kyle, in fact, suspects that that is all an act.

This is when one of many funniest Eric Cartman quotes comes into play, as he says, “Kyle, you really think I would spend 40 years of my life just to get a rise out of you?” The quote is hysterical as a result of, sure, each audiences and Kyle imagine that Cartman would stoop so low simply to get on Kyle’s nerves. However, it really seems his life as a transformed rabbi is not only for present, in an attention-grabbing South Park twist.

South Park

Beginning in 1997, South Park has develop into some of the profitable and common grownup animations ever. The five-time Emmy-winning sequence follows Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski, and Kenny McCormick, as they discover themselves in unbelievable conditions in South Park, Colorado, whereas making an attempt to navigate the world as fourth graders.

Cast

Trey Parker , Matt Stone

Seasons

26

Showrunner

Trey Parker